My Will

I keep asking myself
Is it my love for you
Is it my love for myself
Or
Is it my love for God
That has conquered my fear
And allowed my past to rest in peace
Without any further disruptions
I was addicted to the possibility of options
The possibility of the unknown
And of what is known
Addiction is hard to break
Almost impossible if your will isn’t strong enough to carry your weight
Your shoulders will give up on you
And your heart might break
But your will
It is what keeps you safe
Your will is your scapegoat
Your excuse for every bad decision you make
It is the choice to enjoy the sun in your face
on an early Saturday morning
Or let sheets make the sun erase
I was addicted to the possibilities of love
This addiction is dangerous when you don’t know what you want
This addiction almost killed me
But my will decided
That whether it is my love for you
My love for myself
Or my love for God
I will live to see my possibility of being happy.
My will aloud me to see today.

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